The truth about confidence
So many people mention confidence to me. They want more of it and say that lack of it stands in their way.
Common myths about confidence
“Confidence is the missing ingredient to doing what you want to do.”
“Confidence makes things more comfortable.”
“Confidence is something you either have or you don’t.”
It’s a convenient excuse to think that “if only I had x, life would be different.” It lets you off the hook and you can avoid trying.
What would life be like if you realised that instead of more confidence, you need more courage?
It’s important to separate these two ideas. Every successful person I’ve worked with has told me something along the lines that “courage comes before confidence.” Doing something before we feel completely ready can be like a muscle: the more we do it the stronger it gets. Moving out of your comfort zone increases your resilience and courage to tackle bigger challenges. This is different to ‘fake it until you make it’ thinking. I’m talking about when you know you are competent and have the skills, but perhaps this doesn’t translate into feeling ready to face that next challenge. Interestingly studies show this is a more typical attitude among women.
Consider the possibilities
Our brain can easily jump to the worst case scenario before we take a risk, but it can be helpful to consider what would happen if it goes well, and what would happen if we didn’t do anything at all. This can help balance the fear sufficiently to take the action that would give us the biggest gain.
Is knowing this enough to inspire you to be courageous, or would some more support help?
. Coaching can help if:
Panic takes over. It’s called ‘emotional hijacking’ when our instinctive survival response floods our body with adrenaline: we might feel shaky, our mind might go blank and our mouth might go dry.
Life has taught you that making mistakes should be avoided. Maybe you were laughed at or punished when you got things wrong? You’ve learned to not risk embarrassment or failure - which is holding you back.
You’re overwhelmed, stressed or exhausted. Learning how to reduce stress can give you space and energy to be courageous.
Your confidence has taken a knock.
You are frustrated at missing opportunities and unsure how to move forward.
Get in touch here. Having time and space to work with a Coach to learn helpful strategies and focus on your goals can be life changing.